


Work This Out

by Anonwrite



Category: Scorpion (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, How I hope Season 3 starts, Hurt, Multi Chapter, Pain, Post 2x24, Quintis - Freeform, Romance, Working things out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-04 18:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6668884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonwrite/pseuds/Anonwrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After that finale, this is an idea of what I could see happening at the beginning of season 3. How Toby and Happy deal with the aftermath of what happened and how they work through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a one shot, but when I was writing it worked itself out to be about 3-4 chapters. Chapter 1 is Quintis dealing with what happened, Chapter 2 is Happy explaining things to Toby, and Chapter 3 and 4 will be them working through it. This will have a happy ending, so maybe it'll give us some hope over the summer! :-)

_"I'm married to someone else."_

Those five words kept playing over and over again, like a record on repeat, in Toby's head. The five words that turned his world upside down. He sat there, just looking at the bottle of alcohol in his hand. There were no more tears, no words to say. He was still in shock, pain coursing through him. The woman he loved and trusted more than anyone had lied to him, had torn his heart out and thrown it on the ground. He took another swig from the tequila bottle, the fire burning down his throat helping to numb the pain. 

It had been an hour and a half since the love of his life walked out, giving no explanation for what she had said. An hour and a half that he had been drinking, but he still felt stone cold sober. He could still remember in detail everything that had happened, from the tears filing her eyes to the heartbroken way she said _"I can't"_. A shutter ran down his body as he remembered. 

Toby looked around at the empty garage, confetti scattered all over the floor. His eyes stopped on the work space Happy used. He saw her current project, just laying there, unfinished. The dollhouse they had been working on in their free time just beyond that. That brought a whole new wave of pain, as he gulped down more tequila. 

He had to get out of there. Everything surrounding him was a reminder - a reminder of Happy and her betrayal, a reminder of how stupid he had been. He threw the mug from the table across the garage, shattering it as it hit the wall. If only he would have listened when she said she didn't want to talk, they would not be in this much pain now. 

Toby stood, stumbling slightly as he made his way to the door. He walked outside, the cool air a shock to his body. Happy's truck was still sitting there in her assigned spot, but he couldn't make himself go over there to see if she was still there, in as much pain as him. He stared at it for a moment, tears filling his eyes. Then he blinked and the tears were gone as he turned away. He squared his shoulders and started walking, looking for a cab to take him anywhere but here. 

He paid the cabbie to just drive, no place in mind. He just needed to go away. After twenty minutes of aimless driving, small talk long forgotten, a sign caught his eye. 

"Stop," Toby whispered haggardly, throwing cash down on the front seat. 

Jumping out of the car, he started walking towards a now foreign, yet familiar place. A casino he had frequented regularly back before he had stopped gambling stood in front of him. His heart was racing, his hands shaking as he took step after step towards the door. The lights attracting him like a moth to a flame. 

_"I cannot have the rug pulled out from under me again."_

Toby stopped in his tracks as those words came to the front of his mind. He took a step back quickly. He was about to break his promise. He couldn't do that, not after how much work he had done to quit. How much time he had spent talking himself out of needing the rush. 

_"I'm married to someone else."_

There were those words again. They had been silent for awhile, but they were back, screaming in his head. He started walking hesitantly towards the doors again. The need to forget pushing him, the pull of the temptation too great to ignore. He could forget in here, forget everything that had shattered his hopes and dreams. Taking a deep breath, Toby pulled open the doors, ready to try to numb the pain and blur the rest of the world around him until there was nothing he could focus on but the cards and the table in front of him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy had tried to keep it together as she destroyed everything good in her life. But the second she was alone, everything broke loose. She thought back to the look on Toby's face, devastation and shock, and her heart shattered. The pieces strewn across the floor like broken glass. She slumped against the wall outside, slowly sliding down to the ground. Sobs shook her body as she buried her head in her knees. A pain unlike any other she had ever experienced crept in, leaving her crying and screaming and gasping for air.

She would do anything to make this right, but she didn't know if the pieces could be put back together. She had destroyed all the trust that was between her and Toby. Thinking about what had just happened tore her apart even more. It had killed her to say no to him, when everything inside her was shouting yes. Never in a million years did she want to hurt Toby like that. 

When they had first gotten together, she didn't think he had needed to know, it wasn't important. But as more time passed, the more she fell for him and the more scared she had been to tell him. Even the idea that he would be mad and leave was too much to bear. Then he brought up the theoretical marriage. That had been out of nowhere. She didn't even think they were at that place yet, but Toby did. Happy knew she had to tell him, but didn't know how, so she just decided to try to take care of it herself. She thought it would save a lot of pain and heartbreak and Toby would be none the wiser. But she had been wrong and now things were even worse that what she could've imagined. 

She slammed her head back against the wall, the pain a physical manifestation of what she was feeling. Slowly she stood and on shaky legs made her way to her truck, not really knowing what to do. She could go back in there and beg Toby to forgive her, but she couldn't face seeing the pain she had caused on his face, not yet at least. She could go to a bar and drink herself into oblivion, but that wouldn't change the fact that she had hurt Toby in the worst possible way. She could go to her dad, he wouldn't ask questions but he would wonder. She could go home, but home reminded her of Toby and all the hours they had spent there together. 

Happy slammed her hand down on the steering wheel, hitting it so hard pain radiated up her arm. The light flooding from the door opening caused her to turn her head. Out came Toby, stumbling as he walked. She wanted nothing more than to run to him and hold him while she whispered her apology over and over again, but something stopped her; it was the fear that she had broken them too far past repair. So instead, she continued to watch Toby stumble around, clearly he had had too much to drink. The tears that had stopped now rolled down her face again at seeing Toby like this. She had caused this. 

She inhaled sharply when Toby glanced her way. Part of her screamed for him to come this way so they could figure everything out, but she didn't say a word or make a move to let him know she needed him. Instead, she watched him turn and walk away down the road. The one man she loved above everyone else, the one man she had only ever loved, the one man who she had wanted a future with was walking away, putting distance between them. That was the last thing she had wanted, especially after a day like today.

Happy had thought she lost him earlier and it had devastated her just thinking about a life without him. But now she was faced with the possibility that might be true and devastation wasn't a strong enough word for how she felt. There were no words. Slowly she got back out of the car as sobs wracked her body. She ran to the garage and straight to Toby's desk. She hiccuped when she saw the picture he had of the two of them laying on the desk, dried tear stains marring the glass. Slowly she ran a finger down the frame, her sobs coming harder. 

Bending down, she opened the bottom drawer and pulled out the sweatshirt Toby always kept there. She pulled it over her head, Toby's scent comforting her just a bit. It helped calm her down, until there were no more tears. By wearing his sweatshirt, Happy could almost pretend that Toby was there with her and everything was going to be fine. She went over to her work space, determined to distract her mind with the motorcycle engine she had been working on. She tried to focus on the engine, but her mind kept going back to Toby. She stayed there, trying to work, until she could barely keep her eyes open. Dropping her wrench, she slowly made her way to the couch and collapsed in exhaustion on top. She curled up in a ball and fell asleep praying that she and Toby would make it through this.

A few hours later, Happy woke with a start, screaming Toby's name in panic. She had been dreaming about his kidnapping, but this time she hadn't been able to save him in time. She frantically looked around the garage for him, panic washing over her, momentarily forgetting the night before. Then she remembered and the panic increased, as well as the pain. Grabbing her keys, she raced out to her truck, knowing the only way to curb the panic was by finding Toby and explaining everything. She needed to try to make this work out. 

She started driving to his apartment, hoping he would be there and let her in. She was about two blocks away when she saw a familiar looking hat laying in the middle of an alley. She slammed the brakes, squealing to a stop, and jumped out. At the end of the alley she heard someone moaning and raced to their side. Her heart stopped and fell to her stomach when she saw it was Toby. He was bloodied and bruised, one eye almost swollen shut. 

"Oh my god, Toby," Happy whispered, kneeling to his side, carefully framing his face with her hands. 

Toby turned his head and when he saw Happy, a tear fell out of the corner of his eye, "I'm so sorry, Hap," he whispered over and over. 

Happy felt tears falling to her cheeks, a few tears even dropping on his jacket, as she helped Toby up, careful of his injuries, "Don't baby," she quietly said, trying to comfort him, "Everything's going to be alright. I'm going to get you home now. Please don't think any of this was your fault."

But Toby ignored her as she helped him to her truck, Toby heavily leaning on her. Instead he just kept whispering, "I'm so sorry."

Happy didn't think her heart could break anymore and the pain she felt couldn't get worse, but she was wrong. Hearing Toby, seeing him like this, and knowing it could have been avoided, caused her so much more hurt. Her world was slowly falling apart around her and there was nothing she could do.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Through pain and tears, Happy explains everything to Toby, including why Collins knows.

"Come on baby, just one more flight of stairs and then you can rest," Happy encouraged Toby in a soft voice. 

Toby groaned but kept moving, using Happy for support. It took a few minutes, but they finally made it. That was the bad thing about living in a four story walk up. Once they reached Toby's door, Happy carefully extricated herself from Toby to open the door. He leaned up against the wall and ran his hand through his hair. 

In a quiet voice, he began his mutterings again, "I'm sorry, Hap. I don't know what happened."

Happy turned towards him and grabbed his hand, leading him to the couch where she gently pushed him down. Taking a seat next to him, she reached out to cup his face, but he still avoided her eyes. 

"Toby, you have to stop saying that. You didn't do anything except have a normal reaction. I don't blame you."

Toby shook his head, "I-I broke my promise to you. I said I wouldn't gamble, but I did. I thought it would help."

Happy shook her head vehemently, "No, stop. I don't care that you gambled. Right now I'm more worried about you. Let me get you cleaned up and we can talk," she paused, "please?"

Toby sighed and slumped into the couch, giving her the go ahead. It was clear he was tired, confused, and in pain, both physically and emotionally. Happy didn't know how to decipher his silence and quiet mutterings. It was unnerving. Things had never been like this between them before. It had always been easy, even when they were struggling. They had always been best of friends, but now it was like a stranger was sitting next to her. A stranger she created. 

She quickly made her way to the closet where she knew Toby kept his first aid kit. The door to Toby's bedroom was open and as she passed by, a large lump grew in her throat. Their clothes were still scattered around the room from a few days ago when they had been so caught up in each other they just threw their clothes anywhere. Afterwards, while laying in bed, Toby wrapped his arms around Happy and pulled her close, whispering sweet sayings in her ear. Happy had felt loved and safe, even though there was a quiet, nagging voice in her head reminding her of this secret she was keeping. She could feel the tears building again, but she blinked them back before going back to Toby. 

Happy made quick work of cleaning up Toby. Wiping away the blood and treating his cuts so that in a few days all physical evidence of what had happened would be long gone. She tried to be careful, but Toby had been badly beaten. With every groan or wince in pain, it was like a shot through Happy's heart. She tried to fight back the tears, but a few escaped. She wiped them away before Toby could see, not that he was even looking at her. He was still refusing to talk to her, let alone look her way. Once she was finished, she cleaned up and got an ice pack for Toby, which he took, mumbling his thanks. She perched on the edge of the couch, stopping herself from reaching for Toby's hand, an action that she never thought she would have to do.

"Tob-" she began.

"You can go now," Toby interrupted her in a dead voice. 

That killed Happy to hear his normal lively voice sound so broken and tired.

"No, I'm not leaving here until we talk. I need to explain."

Toby stood, anger in his voice, "Don't you see what you're doing to me? I'm dying here and there's nothing I can do about it. You're the one woman I want, but I can't have you. And you let me love you, knowing," he sat back down, hanging his head in defeat, "knowing that you couldn't be with me all the way."

Happy swallowed hard, "I messed up in a colossal way and I'm sick about that. If I could go back and do it all over again, I would. I am so sorry. You're all I want. Don't you understand that?"

Toby looked up at Happy, the first time he looked her way since she had found him. Devastation covered his face, but Happy could still see the love he had for her hidden beneath all the pain. That broke her. Her hands covered her face as she started crying again. 

"Oh god, Toby. I'm so, so sorry."

Toby stared at her, unsure what to do. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his arms. Comfort her. But he couldn't, not after what she had done to him last night. So instead he stood and slowly made his way to the kitchen for water. Walking away from her when she needed him the most almost brought him to his knees, but he kept moving forward, not even glancing back at her. 

A few minutes later, the crying stopped and Happy's sniffling was the only sound he could hear. He walked back to the couch and handed Happy the glass of water. When she looked up and met his eyes, Toby fell to the couch. Her look was almost indecipherable. It was a mixture of sadness, guilt, anger, and pain, so much pain. He almost wanted to say he forgave her right then, just so she wouldn't have that look on her face anymore. It made him feel worse than anything. He would rather die than see her looking like that. But then her words from the night before ran through his head again and he was back to being angry. 

Knowing Happy like he did, he knew she didn't know where to start, so he took the lead, his heart beating out of his chest. Quietly, he started talking, "No amount of gambling or alcohol or getting my ass kicked, can even begin to numb the pain I feel in here," he whispered, pointing to his heart. "I've been cheated on, left, forgotten about, almost died, and kidnapped, but this-this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Losing you is the most pain I have ever felt."

Happy couldn't help herself, she reached out and grabbed Toby's hand, pretending that his flinch didn't bother her. "You haven't lost me, Toby. Tell me what to do to make this better," she said, desperate to heal them.

Toby ripped his hand away from her, and in a seething voice said, "I don't know, Happy. You're fucking married! And seemed to think that it wasn't something I needed to know. So I have no clue what to do. I thought I knew you, but I was so wrong. I know nothing about you. For all I know, you were banging your husband last night and getting a good laugh at my expense."

Happy reeled back in shock. Hearing his words and the hatred in his voice did more damage to her than anything else that had happened in the last twelve hours. 

"How dare you even say that," she said in outrage, standing, hands shaking, "You know me better than anyone else. And I get that you're angry and rightly so. But to think, to even fathom, that I would do something that cruel, that low, is just so wrong. I could never do that to you. I can't even bare the thought of not waking up next to you in the morning. So why would you say something like that? You say you're dying inside, but so am I. I never wanted to hurt you like that, to blow up our relationship, but I did, and you don't know how much that is killing me. Please don't ever doubt my feelings for you." Her voice broke as she choked back more tears. In a devastated voice, she added, "All I ever wanted was to make you happy."

Toby looked up at her, unshed tears in his eyes, "And you did. But now everything is broken, all because you didn't trust me with the truth. Did you think I would be disgusted by it and turn my back on you? Did you think it would change how I felt?"

Happy knew he wasn't really looking for an answer, but she shrugged anyway. At that Toby stood up to stand in front of her, just out of her reach.

"Then we're more broken than I thought," he whispered in defeat. 

The haggard way he said that crippled Happy.

He continued, "Don't you know how much I love you? I would do anything for you. But now, now I'm afraid we're broken beyond repair."

Happy's knees gave out as she fell to the couch, "Don't say that," she whispered, "Tell me what to do to fix this and I will do it."

Toby ran his hands through his hair, frustration growing inside of him, "I already told you, I don't know how to fix this. To trust you again. After everything you spouted off about to me, reliability, trust, you kept this from me. You were the one to pull the rug out from under me. I was blindsided by this."

Happy looked down and played with the frayed edges of the couch cushion, "If you would have just listened to me when I said I didn't want to talk. I was going to tell you, but I wanted to do it privately. And you just ignored me."

"So this is my fault now?" Toby yelled, throwing his hands up, "How the hell is this my fault? I took your hesitance as being afraid to take the next step, at being put in the spotlight. I never dreamed you had been keeping a secret of this magnitude from me!"

Toby turned away from her; it hurt too much to even look at her at that moment. The alcohol, the concussion he most likely had, and the physical and emotional pain he was feeling churned his stomach until he could no longer hold it in. Running quickly to the bathroom, he emptied his stomach until there was nothing left but heaves, a pounding head, and a broken heart. Happy followed him, needing to make sure he was going to be fine. She grabbed a washcloth, wetting it before handing it to Toby. She stood behind him, lightly running her hand across his back. Even if he didn't want it, she needed to let him know that she was still there for him. Slowly he stood, shrugging off her hand, and made his way to the sink to brush his teeth. 

"Toby," Happy said quietly, "You need some rest. You've been through a lot."

Toby sent a glare her way, but it softened when he saw her standing there, arms wrapped around her body. It was her way of trying to comfort herself. He bit back what he was going to say, not really wanting to hurt her any more. He knew she was sorry, he just didn't know how to get over it. 

"Yeah," he mumbled, "that might be a good idea."

Happy followed closely behind, ready to catch him if he fell. He grabbed sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt, clothes that didn't smell like alcohol, sweat, and blood. He struggled to get them on, so Happy stepped towards him, helping him pull the shirt over his head. Slowly she ran her hand down his chest, distracted by being so close to him, the first time since he had proposed. He grabbed her wrist to stop her, but didn't pull her hand away. Instead, he held her hand there, right over his pounding heart, his thumb brushing over her pulse. Their eyes were locked, silently telling each other what they couldn't seem to say with words; how much they still cared, how much they needed this to work, how sorry they both were. Then Toby cleared his throat and dropped her hand, scooting back on the bed.

He leaned up against the headboard, closing his eyes. They shot open when he felt the bed dip next to him. Happy was climbing on the bed, taking a seat next to him, looking at him warily. 

"Um," Toby cleared his throat again, looking at her in confusion, "What are you doing?"

Happy gave him a small, hopeful smile, "I told you, I'm not leaving until we figure this out."

Toby blinked slowly, "I don't know how that's possible. You rejected me," he paused and looked down, a tear falling on his cheek. He voice was barely audible when he finished, "because you're married."

Happy moved closer to him and grabbed his hand, "I said I can't marry you."

"I remember," Toby said sharply.

"Not that I don't want to marry you," Happy continued. 

Toby looked up at her in surprise. 

Happy smiled, "I'm not giving up on us Toby, I love you."

"What?" he whispered, shock covering his face, "You've never said that before."

Happy tightened her grip on his hand and lowered her voice, "I don't know how you didn't know that you're everything to me, I tried to show you because I'm not good with words, but it's true Toby. I love you more than anyone or anything in this world."

Toby was silent and continued to stare at Happy, disbelief on his face, "But-"

Happy gave a little laugh, "I should have told you sooner, but it's true. I knew before you were taken, but when you were missing, it was like a part of myself was missing. And when you were saying goodbye to me, all I could think about was how I needed to find you so I could tell you how much I love you. But then," she sighed, "then everything blew up in our faces." Another tear escaped from the corner of her eye. 

"Happy," Toby whispered, reaching out to wipe away the tear. 

"I'm so sorry, Toby," she whispered desperately. 

"I know, baby," he murmured, brushing her cheek with his thumb. 

Happy closed her eyes, the closeness comforting her. She sighed and opened her eyes, "You need to rest."

Toby dropped his hand and nodded, sliding down the headboard to lay down. 

In a small voice, Happy turned to him, "Can I, um, can you come over here? I-I just need to hold you. Please?"

Toby gave her a small smile and moved closer to her. Happy sat there, unmoving, scared to make a wrong move. Carefully he laid his head down on her lap and wrapped an arm around her legs. Turning his head slightly, he placed a soft kiss on her leg and closed his eyes. Happy gently weaved her hands into his hair, lazily massaging his head. 

"Talk to me, Hap. Tell me your story," he mumbled. 

Happy closed her eyes, letting her mind go back in time, remembering the time in her life she wanted to forget, but couldn't. Quietly, she told him everything. 

"I had just turned 18, legally an adult. And I was in a bad place, struggling to live. I started entering competitions around that time and even though I hired people to take my place in them, I met a few people who knew the truth. I met him through one of those people. His English name was Jacob. He was 21 and from Japan, over here on a student visa. We weren't really friends, but I helped him out with things on occasion; engineering projects, hacking computers, things that were easy for me. He would pay me and I needed the money."

Happy shuddered, "One day I found out his visa was about to expire and the government was denying him an extension. The person who introduced us suggested he marry an American and I just happened to be the only girl he knew who he could easily manipulate. He offered me $10,000 to marry him. At first I said no, I didn't want to get caught up in all of that. But then he threatened to turn me into the police. He had kept records of everything I had done to help him out. It was enough to send me away to prison, especially now that I was an adult."

Toby tightened his grip on Happy, but remained silent, knowing she needed to get it all out. 

"I really had no choice in the matter, so I married him. In the end, we both got what we needed out of it and our lives didn't have to change. We didn't live together or even really see much of each other. It was on paper only. We didn't kiss when we got married, I didn't even change my name. I think I only saw him three times after our so called wedding."

Happy stopped for a minute, collecting her thoughts. Toby felt her hands shaking on his head. 

"You don't have to go on," he said. He was barely able to hold it together himself; he didn't know how she was doing so. 

"No, I want to. I never thought I would love someone, let alone ever want to marry them, until I met you. At the time, it didn't affect me or my life at all. He disappeared three months after I married him and I had never been happier in my life. He was very volatile and I never knew what to expect when I saw him. One minute he was nice and funny, but the next he was demanding and threatening. I had never truly been scared for my life until I met him."

Toby turned on her lap to stare up at her. It broke his heart to see her struggling to hold back tears. He reached up to cup her face. She leaned into his hand, then bent down to kiss his forehead gently. 

"I'm so sorry, Hap. I can't imagine what that must have been like for you. Why didn't your friend help? The one who introduced you two?"

Happy let out a sharp laugh, "That would've never happened and he was never my friend, more like an enemy. I think he was threatened by me. He had never met someone who could hold their own with him like I could. It-it was Collins."

Toby shot up to a sitting position, "What?"

Happy shrugged, "I knew him from the competition circuit, even before Scorpion started. Walter found us around the same time and Collins had always hated me. The hatred grew the longer we were around each other and he always held that stupid marriage over my head. Never telling anyone, but threatening to, knowing it was the one thing I regretted more than anything. I thought it was over and finished when Collins was admitted, but that was before we got together. It became a part of my past, one I try not remember. I'm not proud of anything I did at that time."

Toby laid back down on Happy's lap, still facing her, "And then we started dating and I wanted to move things forward, and fast."

Happy nodded, "And I was surprisingly ok with it, but then you started throwing around the proposal idea and that's when I realized I couldn't marry you because I was already married to him. I've been searching for him ever since we got back from Vietnam, to get a divorce. But I haven't seen him since he left and I don't know where he is. It's like all of his records have been wiped. There is no trace of him anywhere."

"Nothing at all? There has to be something."

Happy shook her head, "I'm not as good of a hacker as Walter and Sly, but I can hold my own. All trace of him is gone. I think Collins had someone to do with that. He has always loved to make my life hell and by making it hard to find Jacob, he knew it would. And now that we're together, I know Collins is loving this; two for one. He hit the jackpot."

"And I thought I couldn't hate Collins any more," Toby said, tightening his fist, slamming it down on the bed, "Damn it! We'll find him, Hap. I promise. Walter and Sylvester will be able to find something. I won't stop until we know where he is."

Happy tightened her grip on Toby, "I hate that my past is messing up my future. If I would've known how many problems it would cause, I would do everything differently. I want to be with you Toby, more than anything. But I get it if it's too much for you to get over. I have lied to you ever since I've known you. If you don't want to be with me anymore - just say it."

"Happy," Toby said in the softest voice she had ever heard him use, "I love you and that hasn't changed. I still want to be with you; I'll always want to be with you. I will do everything I can to help you get this fixed so that we can be together. But I'm still hurt and confused. I don't understand why you didn't trust me with this. That's going to take time for me to get over, for me to trust you completely again. Just because you told me now, it's still too late for me to forget about this."

Happy still looked in pain, but there was a new hope about her, "But you're not giving up?"

Toby leaned up to give Happy the softest, sweetest kiss up she had ever received, "Never, Hap. I'm never giving up on us. I just need some time to get over this." 

He settled back down in her lap, a comfortable silence falling around them, her hands finding their way to his head again. He felt himself start to drift off, but before he did, he shifted to look up at her again. 

"Hey Hap?" he asked.

Happy looked down at him and smiled, "Yeah, baby?" she murmured, pushing a curl off his forehead.

"I know you've already asked me this, but what do we do?"

"I don't know, but we're going to fix this," she said determinedly, resolution in her voice. 

And Toby believed her, they were going to get through all the pain and hurt and come out stronger on the other side. 

Happy gently patted his head, "Now get some sleep. I'm not leaving. I love you." 

She leaned down to kiss him again. It was a kiss full of sorry and determination, but most of all, love.

"I love you too," Toby whispered against her lips before pulling her down again for one last kiss. 

When they pulled apart, there was a calmness about them. Hope. They both fell asleep, clinging tightly to each other, ready to move past all that went wrong, ready to move towards their future - together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, Toby and Happy work out their problems, but the past is still hard to forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This originally was going to be two chapters, but each one turned out to be awkward lengths, so I just combined them into one longer chapter. There will still be one more chapter to come. I hope you enjoy this! :-)

Toby slowly blinked awake just as the sun was setting in the sky, a groan escaping as pain radiated through him. He tensed, remembering what had happened and why he was feeling like he did. Fingers began gently massaging his head, comforting him. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the legs pillowing it. 

"Hi," he said roughly, sleep thick in his voice. 

"Hi," came her quiet reply. 

He looked up and saw Happy's soft smile, her eyes red rimmed and puffy from earlier. Toby thought she still looked as beautiful as ever though. He returned her smile. 

"How do you feel?" Happy asked, concern on her face. 

Toby let out a sharp laugh, "Like I got my ass kicked."

Happy rolled her eyes, "I never would've guessed, genius."

Toby slowly sat up and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips for a light kiss, "Thanks for staying with me. Just knowing you were here helped me to relax."

Happy cupped his cheek, "There was nowhere else I'd rather be," she leaned in to tenderly kiss him, "I know we have a lot of work to do still, mainly myself, but I'm glad we're working through this together. I-," she paused and looked down, "I thought you would hate me."

Toby moved his hand to her chin, gently forcing her to look at him. When she met his eyes, she could see how much he loved her, "I could never hate you, Hap. What you did, what happened, that's a lot I need to process. And I have so many questions, but know that I'm not mad at you because you were married. I'm angry because you kept it from me. Everything could have been different if you had only told me."

"I know that now," she said quietly.

Toby nodded, "Well, that's a starting point. It'll take time, but we'll get through this, I promise."

Happy smiled sadly at him. Toby couldn't stand seeing her look that way, so he carefully pulled her to him, wrapping her up in his arms, kissing the top of her head. She melted into him, pressing her face into his chest, as if there was nowhere else she'd rather be. A few minutes later, Toby felt her squirm, trying to escape his hold. 

"What're doing babe?" Toby laughed.

Happy sat up and wrinkled her nose, "No offense, but you stink."

Toby lifted his arm to smell, "Ok, you're right, but I'm too sore to get up. Can't I just stay here?" he waggled his eyebrows, "You could give me a sponge bath."

Happy let out a laugh; that sound never sounding quite as sweet to Toby's ears as it did right then. She stood and walked around to Toby's side of the bed, offering him her hand. 

"Come on. I'll help you up. The warm water will help you with the soreness too. When you get out, I'll answer any questions you have. No more secrets." She looked down nervously, obviously scared about what was to come. 

Toby took her hand and slowly got up. When he was standing, he placed his hand on Happy's hip, pulling her close to him. He leaned down to give her a sweet kiss, a reassurance that everything was going to be fine. When he pulled back, he pressed his forehead to hers and sighed. 

"We'll get through this," he breathed. 

Happy, still with her eyes closed, nodded against his head, then took a step back, steeling her face against emotion, "Now go. You really do smell bad."

Toby smirked and made his way to the bathroom. After twenty minutes and Happy checking on him three times, Toby made his way out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel. He stopped when he saw Happy perched on the bed, a mug of coffee in one hand, a book in the other. She had changed out of her clothes from the day before, opting for comfort by wearing leggings and one of Toby's shirts. Toby still couldn't get over how incredible she always looked, but there was something about seeing her in his clothes that started a fire inside himself. 

"There's coffee and pain pills for you," she mumbled, pointing to the side table, still looking down at her book. 

Toby cleared his throat and started walking towards the bed, "Uh, thanks. What're you reading?"

Happy put the book down and placed it on the bedside table, "It's one of yours. It's about the minds of serial killers. It's actually very interesting, for psych stuff that is."

Toby chuckled, picking up his coffee, "You thinking about become a killer?"

Happy huffed as she turned towards him, "You never-" she stopped when she saw him, "Oh my god, Toby. Your body," she exclaimed, crawling over to his side of the bed to get a better look.

Toby looked down at the black and blue patches covering his torso, "Yeah, it hurts like a bitch. It wasn't the smartest idea I've ever had."

Happy carefully traced her fingers over his body, "It didn't look this bad this morning."

Toby shrugged and sat next to her on the bed, masking his wince, "And it'll get even worse. Bruises take time to come to the surface. In a few days it'll become even darker, but they'll eventually fade."

Happy bit her lip, debating what to say next. "Why did you do it, Toby? Don't you know you're worth more than that?" she asked, her voice quieter than a whisper. 

Toby hung his head in shame, afraid at what he would see on Happy's face if he looked at her. He didn't know if he could handle seeing the disappointed look he was sure was there. He took a deep breath, trying to understand why he did it himself. 

"I didn't know what else to do, Hap," he started quietly, "I-I just needed to forget. I didn't know what was going to happen between us and I don't like it when I'm not in control." He swallowed hard, "When I'm at that table with the cards in my hands, I know the rules. I know what's going to happen. I'm in control. I can let everything leave my mind, focus only on what's in front of me."

Happy shivered and moved closer to Toby, wrapping her arm around one of his, laying her head down on his shoulder. "But why provoke a fight?" she asked, truly confused. 

Toby sighed and started drawing patterns on her thigh, "I was so angry and I felt like an idiot. I couldn't believe I had let that happen between us, that I didn't see the signs. I wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't dumb. So I started reading people at the table, wanting someone to say something, wanting to fight since you weren't there for me to get mad at. I made comments, I egged them on wanting them to get angry, wanting to annoy them. I think I was purposefully trying to pick a fight, just so I could let out all the anger I had inside. I wanted to forget, I wanted relief, just a few seconds where I wouldn't have to think about what had happened. Gambling wasn't doing enough. The rush wasn't overtaking me and helping me to forget." He took a shuddering breath, "I could have gone in, gambled, and got out, but I chose not to. I chose to have this happen." He shrugged, "Again, it was something I could control. I knew it was coming, I could see it on their faces, but I ignored it."

It hurt Happy to hear that, to hear how she hurt him so deeply that he chose to be a punching bag. She closed her eyes, fighting back tears.

"Did it help?"

Toby shook his head and stood up, "No, not really. At first, the excitement of gambling was there, but once that wore off I still had a hole in my chest, I still felt sick thinking about what happened. You were in my mind and nothing I could do would get you out."

Happy looked down at her hand, fingers wringing nervously, "Toby, that'll never happen again. I promise you, I will never hurt you like that ever again."

Happy looked up and was surprised to see Toby staring at her, a slightly angry look on his face, "I can't quite believe that yet. You hurt me and I have to remember to protect myself, not only from myself, but from you too. Last night, in its own twisted way, was a way to try to protect myself."

Happy stood and planted her hands on her hips, "By gambling? Is this going to become a habit again?"

Toby turned and walked away from her, stopping at his dresser to pull on sweatpants, "I don't know, I can't tell you yes or no. But could you really blame me if it did?"

Happy quietly walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, kissing the center of his back, "I guess not. But you worked so hard to overcome it. Just because I was stupid doesn't mean you have to be too. Don't throw away everything because of me. You're stronger than that."

In a distant voice, Toby replied, "I thought I was too, but then I broke again."

Happy stiffened when she heard that. Never did she think she would see Toby like this, distant and morose. She made him turn around, grabbing his hands when he faced her. "Talk to me, Toby. Tell me what you want to hear from me."

Toby squeezed her hands, "I want to hear why, why you did what you did. But I'm afraid it'll make me angry all over again. I want to get back what we had and, even though it just happened, I think I'm making progress and on the path to completely forgiving you, but I then I'll remember what you said and I can't stop myself from trying to put distance between us. I'm battling myself to keep the doubts out."

Happy leaned in, wrapping Toby up in a hug, "Can we battle together? I know you don't have a lot of trust in me and I know you want to protect yourself, but can I try to help? Will you let me in and try not to shut me out?"

Toby kissed the top of her head and nodded, "I want to, but if there are times when I push you away, just know it's because I'm scared. I've never been hurt so badly in my life, and that's really saying something. It's your turn to fix us."

Happy looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest, "And I will. Give it time. I'm not giving up. I love you, Toby. I was scared to say it before, but I'm not now."

Toby gave her a sad smile before leaning down to kiss her gently. When he pulled back, he led her to the bed and settled down, patting the spot next to him. Happy carefully climbed in and wrapped her body around his. Glad he was pulling her close. Happy was comforted by being near him, his smell and touch feeling like home. She took a deep breath, knowing Toby deserved answers. 

"I was scared, Toby. That's why I didn't tell you."

Toby looked down at her, but didn't say anything. 

"I was scared because it meant admitting my feelings to you," Happy said quietly, "Like I said earlier, when I married Jacob, I had no want to ever get married. I never thought I would find someone that I would trust, would love, enough to want to. But then there you were and before I knew it, I had fallen. I knew I had to tell you about him, but I couldn't at first. If I did, that meant admitting I had actually let myself become vulnerable, I had opened up and relied on someone else. And for someone with a past like mine, that's scary. But you needed to know and I did want you to know how deeply I care for you. I wanted you to know I wanted a future with you. Once I convinced myself to tell you how I felt so I could tell you about him, the fear about how you'd react became present. I was terrified that I would open myself up to you fully and you'd turn your back on me."

Toby pulled her closer, "Why would you think I'd do that?"

Happy shrugged and buried her face in Toby's chest, "Because that's what has always happened," she mumbled. 

Toby tilted her chin up to look at him, "Explain."

"Anyone I've ever trusted has turned away from me - foster parents, my dad, social workers, and the list goes on. So over the years I just decided to look out for myself. After Jacob, the need to stay away grew. I never really trusted him, but he still used me, blackmailed me, and threatened me. If someone I didn't trust could do that, I was scared to see what someone I trusted could do. I've been hurt enough in my life."

A hurt look came over Toby's face, "Don't you know me better than that? I would rather die than hurt you."

The look in Toby's eyes was too intense, Happy had to look away, "I know, but that doesn't make the fear go away." She sighed, "So I decided not to tell you. I figured I could make it go away and you would never have to know. We could move on with our lives. But I couldn't find him and by that time, I was afraid to tell you since I kept it from you for so long. I was trying to work up the nerve to tell you, but then everything happened so fast," her voice trailed off, not wanting to relive what had happened.

"I get it," Toby said quietly, "I don't like it, but I get it. I understand why you were scared. I guess in your situation, I would've done the same thing."

Happy shook her head and sat up, looking down at him, "No, you wouldn't have. You would've told me. You wouldn't have been scared."

Toby shrugged, "You don't know that."

"Yes, I do. I wish I could be more like you, more open with how I feel. But because of who I am I messed everything up."

Toby sat up and pulled Happy to his chest. He didn't know what to say, so instead he just held her, trying to comfort her. After a few minutes of silence, Happy pulled back. 

"So now you know."

Toby nodded, "Now I know."

Happy looked nervous, "Does that change anything?"

Toby sighed and grabbed her hand, rubbing him thumb over her knuckles, "Yes - no - it will. I understand better now, but still, I trusted you. I knew I didn't know everything about you, but I thought I knew all the big stuff." He ran his free hand through his hair, "This is frustrating. I want to forget, but I can't, not yet at least. I'm scared you'll continue to hide things from me. I don't know how to trust you right now and that kills me."

Happy tightened her grip, "That kills me too, but you're being honest and that's fair. I have to earn back your trust."

Toby smiled at her, "But not my love, baby. You've not lost that. And now that I know why you stayed quiet, I can start to forgive you."

Happy smiled in relief, "Good." 

Toby laid back down, pulling Happy with him. She traced designs on his chest, while he played with her hair. It was a comfortable silence. That was surprising for Happy, especially for how emotional the last two days had been. She turned her head to kiss Toby's chest lightly. 

"I thought I'd never get to do this with you again yesterday."

Toby looked at her questioningly.

"Lay here in your arms. I thought Collins was going to kill you." She shivered and pressed herself closer to him, "I was terrified. I had never known fear like that when I couldn't find you."

Toby kissed the top of her head, "Now you know what I was talking about after Antarctica. The fear is almost paralyzing."

Happy nodded against his chest, "If you had died, I would've been beside myself. To never see you again -" she couldn't finish her thought, it was too painful to think about. 

"But I'm here. Collins didn't win in that aspect and we still have each other, even if we're slightly damaged now."

Happy sat up, determination on her face, "And Collins is not going to win. Tomorrow morning we're telling the team everything and finding Jacob. Our brains put together can outsmart Collins any day. I want to put my past behind us and move forward." She leaned down to kiss him, "I want to marry you. The thought of being your wife excites me," Happy smirked, "even more than a new engine to work on."

Toby let out a loud laugh, "It's good to know I rank higher than your engines."

Happy chuckled and kissed him again, "I think you know you're higher than everything, baby."

She settled back down next to him. 

"Do you really want to marry me?" Toby asked in a quiet, disbelieving voice.

"More than anything. Ever since you mentioned it I haven't been able to stop thinking about how happy I'd be."

Toby grabbed her hand and played with her ring finger, where his ring should be laying right now. He didn't say anything though. Instead he just sat there quietly, thinking, hoping she really meant that. 

"Can I see it?" Happy asked in a hushed voice. 

"What?"

"Can I see the ring? I didn't really get to look it at before."

Toby looked at her in surprise, "Seriously?"

Happy nodded, a hopeful look in her eyes. 

"Uh, I guess. It's in my bag, let me go get it," he started to sit up.

Happy placed a hand on his chest, pushing him back down, "Stay, I'll go get it."

Happy quickly made her way to the living room and grabbed his bag from beside the door. When she got back to the bedroom, Toby was sitting up. He looked nervous as he played with the edge of the quilt. She silently handed him the bag. After a minute of looking, he pulled out a black box and slowly opened it. Happy's hands flew to her mouth.

"Toby," she said in awe, "it's perfect. I love it."

A proud grin grew on his face, "You do?"

Happy nodded, tears building in her eyes. She couldn't say anything, not because she didn't want to, but because there weren't words to describe how she felt. Carefully she pulled it out of the box to get a better look at it. 

"I can't wait to wear it," she whispered, placing it back in the box. She tried to hand it to him, but he wouldn't take it. 

"No," he shook his head, "you keep it. It's made for you and right now, I have no use for it. Do with it what you want."

Happy smiled, "I know what to do." She went over to the dresser and pulled out a necklace she sometimes wore, taking off the charm. In its place she put the ring and slipped it around her neck. She grabbed it as she walked over to Toby. It was a reminder that he loved her, a reminder of their future. "It's going to stay here until you're ready to put it on my finger," she stated, sitting down next to him. "That way, every time we see it, we'll remember we have a future."

"You and me forever?" Toby asked, looking at her with uncertainty in his eyes. 

Happy nodded, "Forever baby. I love you." Now that she said those three words, she couldn't stop. She wanted to say them forever.

She leaned in to kiss him sweetly, but the moment their lips touched, a hunger grew. Toby deepened the kiss as he pressed Happy into the mattress. She gasped his name as his lips moved to her neck, biting gently at her collarbone. He brought his lips back to hers and there was a mutual desperation hidden behind the kiss. There was a want, a need to be together, a need to connect in a physical way. They had talked, but now it was time communicate without words. Communicate the best way they knew how. Before long, their clothes had been thrown to the floor and they were tangled together, fitting together perfectly like they were each other's match. Moans and gasps filled the air, as they moved together in the rhythm they loved. They continued long into the night, alternating between fast and angry and slow and desperate. But no matter the pace, when they looked into each other's eyes, the only thing that could be seen was their deep love. They knew that wasn't going away and after some time, everything would be alright again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The weeks slowly passed and they gradually started to rebuild what they had. At times, Toby was distant and distracted, staying away from Happy, preferring to be alone or if that wasn't possible, he would make comments about Happy being good at keeping secrets or if they needed a married couple, Happy could call up her husband. Comments like that cut Happy to the core, but she couldn't get mad, she couldn't yell. She felt like she deserved them for what she had put Toby through. But then the next day, everything would be normal, almost as if nothing had happened. They still laughed and talked and loved like they always had. But those moments were often tainted when Happy would say something or make a promise and Toby looked at her like he couldn't believe her, like he wanted to, but he couldn't. The trust was still broken.

Happy tried to open up more about her past without his prompting, telling him things she had never told anyone else; stories from the horrible foster homes she lived, her first nights truly on her own, the moments that made her who she was. It was after those nights that they felt connected again, felt stronger than before, were better than before. But a few days would pass and doubt would start to form in Toby's head again and the little trust they had rebuilt disappeared. Then the cycle would start over again. 

Happy found herself doing things for Toby, just because she wanted to, just because she wanted to see him smile. She would surprised him with gifts or dinners, planning romantic evenings out, attending psych lectures with him, even go for walks on the beach with him - all to show Toby that she loved him and was dedicated to him, only him. Instead of waiting for him to take the lead like normal, she took the initiative. And by doing so, she discovered that she didn't have to be afraid to show and tell Toby how she felt, and by doing this for him, she found herself losing all fear, falling deeper in love. 

On days they didn't have cases, the team would spend time looking for Jacob. At first there were a few false leads, but they eventually found him. She had been right about Collins making him disappear, but the team pulled together and found Happy a way out of this mess. The night they found him and the divorce was filed was filled with drinks and celebration, the happiest the team had been in awhile. Afterwards, at home, Toby and Happy had their own private celebration. As they laid in bed, trying to catch their breath, Happy touched the ring around her neck. She turned to Toby and whispered in his ear about how it was only a matter of time before the ring was on her finger. Toby grinned and then pulled her to him again for another round. The grin on Happy's face didn't let up the entire night. Things were finally starting to look up, things were changing for the better for them. 

Slowly, Toby started to let go of his anger. He started trusting her more, believing her when she promised her love. He wasn't constantly looking over his shoulder for something bad to happen. Instead, he started looking forward to their future again. He started smiling more, shooting her those loving glances she had gotten used to. Finding reasons to touch her, to brush up against her throughout the day, kissing her head briefly. Happy started to crave those moments, the stolen moments just for the two of them during the day. She even started finding excuses to take more of those moments; she would wander over to this desk for an absurd reason, just so she could kiss him, she would linger before they were separated on a case, just to give him one last hug, to feel his arms around her, to mutter one more 'I love you'.

But Toby still kept his secrets, he would disappear once or twice a week, never giving Happy a clear answer about where he was going. On those nights, Happy had no idea where he was. He wouldn't call or come over. She only knew he was safe when she would walk into the garage the next morning and see him sitting at his desk, shooting her a smile. 

Eventually she could take it no more, and as he was packing up to leave and disappear for the night, she dragged him up to the roof, demanding an answer. 

"Where the hell are you going, Curtis?"

Toby avoided her eyes. "Out," is all he said in reply. 

Happy ground her teeth and fisted her hands, "Why are you keeping secrets from me?"

"Oh, I didn't realize that only you got to keep secrets, Happy."

Happy took a step back in shock. It had been awhile since he had made a snide comment about what had happened between them. 

"Are you gambling, Toby?"

He shrugged, "If I am, it's for a good reason."

Hearing that destroyed Happy. She turned her back to him and walked to the edge of the roof.

"Hap-" Toby began, following her.

She whirled around, hurt in her eyes, "Do you realize what's happening right now? We're falling apart. Every time I see you walk out that door, I never know if it'll be for the last time. I'm tired of pretending everything's okay. I try and try so hard. I've tried to make things better, to get you to trust in me again, and it's like you don't even care." A tear rolled down her cheek, "Do you even want to fight for us?"

Toby stepped forward, reaching out to wipe the tear off her cheek, "Of course I do Hap," he whispered

She stepped into him, forgetting her anger. She just wanted him to hold her in his arms, "Why can't things just go back to normal?" she asked haggardly. 

Toby sighed and kissed the top of her head, "I wish they could, baby. I'm tired of living like this."

Happy looked up, desperation in her eyes, "Then let's do it. Let's forget everything that has happened."

Hesitation flashed in Toby's eyes that made Happy doubt his feelings. She took a step back in fear.

"Unless you don't want me anymore."

Toby shook his head firmly and grabbed her hand, "I'll always want you, Hap. I love you."

"Then tell me what's going on. I can't live with this fear anymore. I feel like you're trying to put distance between us again and I don't know why."

Toby looked down, "I'm not trying to, consciously at least. I know I've hurt you, both with my words and actions, especially tonight. But I can't help it. Things are going so well for us, just like last time. And now," he stopped and looked her in the eye, the fear in them evident, "now I'm waiting for something to mess it up again. I'm trying to get over that fear," he shrugged, "and most days I am, but sometimes, on really good days for us, the fear gets to be too much."

"So you gamble?" Happy asked quietly. 

"No," Toby shook his head, "I go to a therapist."

Happy's eyes widened in shock, "You go where? What?"

"I go see a therapist for help."

Happy couldn't believe it, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I-I was ashamed. I'm a genius psychiatrist, I shouldn't need to get help like that."

Happy stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist, "Baby, everybody needs help sometimes. We're all lucky here because we have you, but you don't have anyone to help you like that. I didn't realize you were still struggling."

"Most days I'm not, at least not struggling with what happened. My therapist has helped me with that. I don't worry that you're keeping anything from me anymore. I trust that you tell me everything I need to know."

At hearing that, a weight Happy didn't know she was carrying lifted off her shoulders. She buried her face in his chest so he wouldn't see her tears of relief. 

Toby continued talking, "I'm struggling with the worry that something is going to happen that will rip us apart again. I couldn't take it if something more happened. She's helping me to realize I can't control the unknowns. She's helped me come to the conclusion that what we have, our love, is strong enough to overcome anything that comes out way. As long as we have each other."

"So that's your secret? That's where you disappear to?" Happy mumbled.

"That's where I go on nights you can't find me. I haven't gambled once since I relapsed. It doesn't hold the same appeal that it used to." He tightened his grip around her, "You're the only one who can make me feel like that now."

Happy looked up in surprised, "Not gambling?"

Toby smiled and looked down at her, "Nope, only you. You're the only thing I need now. You're my new addiction."

A wide grin broke out on Happy's face, "Really, Doc?"

"Really," he murmured before leaning down to kiss her. 

It was at that moment that Happy knew they were alright. They were better than before, stronger than they had ever been. That moment on the roof was the moment in which their past was truly forgotten. And the future had never looked so promising.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things might be back on track for Toby and Happy, but that doesn't mean everything is easy and will always work out. But when you find the one you're meant to be with, everything turns out fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The last chapter. Thank you to everyone who read this. I know, at times, it was hard to read, especially after what happened. But I'm so glad that you read this! I had a lot of fun writing this chapter and I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it :-)

The Christmas season was supposed be a fun and joyous time of year. Yet for Toby, all he felt again this year was like a Scrooge. The Santa's on every street corner asking for money made him mad, the kids crying and begging for toys annoyed him, the jolly Christmas carols playing everywhere made him wish he were deaf. To him, why was there a need to put all this work, all the emphasis on being merry, in to one day? If anything, this season created more problems than it fixes. It points out the struggles family's have while trying to create the perfect Christmas for their kids, it points out the loneliness of people who don't have anyone, and it points out the greediness of today's society. 

" _What's the point of any of this, if just one day later, everyone goes back to their normal lives?_ " Toby thought, taking another sip from his whiskey. 

He just couldn't get into the Christmas spirit, no matter how hard Paige tried. It didn't help that he had done something to piss Happy off. Up until a week ago, Toby was actually looking forward to Christmas this year, his first Christmas with the love of his life, their first Christmas actually together. But then, everything changed. Happy started acting odd, ignoring him when he tried to talk to her, declining his invitations to dinner, and never replying to his texts. She even started staying back at her place again, something she hadn't done in over a month. He asked her what he had done, but she just told him nothing and she was busy, so he had to get out. She had only made brief eye contact with him that day and it was only after he had escaped two gunmen trying to blow up a local power plant where they had recently been fired. Other than that, it was as if he didn't exist. 

Even at their annual Christmas Eve dinner, she sat on the opposite end of the table, never once looking up from her plate. He didn't know what he did, but whatever it was, it was huge, especially for her to ignore him. Ever since that failed proposal, they had worked on being open and honest in their relationship, working through their problems together. So this threw Toby off. She hadn't acted like this since before they started dating. 

He topped off his glass of whiskey and slung it back, needing the fire in his throat to distract him from his thoughts. He looked around the garage and all he saw was happy faces. Walter and Paige had recently decided to give it a go and they were privately exchanging gifts with Ralph, arms wrapped around each other, sharing intimate smiles. Toby almost felt like he was intruding by watching them. Sly and Cabe were playing a game of cards, laughing and sharing stories, connecting in a way only two people who have lost loved ones can do. There was a fondness on their faces as they told story after story, enjoying each other's company. And Happy, he looked over at her workspace, and Happy wasn't there. He hadn't seen her leave, but he assumed she went to her dad's workshop to spend a few hours with him. And here he was, sitting alone at his desk, a bottle of whiskey the only thing keeping him company. 

In this past, around this time of year, Toby would be drowning his sorrows gambling, but he hadn't been lying when he told Happy a few months ago that it didn't hold the same appeal anymore. He really didn't want to gamble. He had stopped going to his therapist a few weeks back, truly believing he didn't need to go anymore. He thought he was finally in a good place, the worry about something going wrong between him and Happy long gone. But then whatever happened and here he was, once again feeling darkness clouding him. He didn't even bother with pouring the whiskey this time, he just brought the bottle to his lips and took a long pull. 

"Hey, Doc?" a quiet voice called out.

Toby glanced around, but didn't see anyone. Great, he must be hearing things now. 

"Doc," the voice said again, this time stronger and louder. 

Toby looked to the stairs leading to the roof and there was Happy, standing there wringing her hands. He stared at her, waiting to see what she wanted. 

"Can you come up here?" she asked, not even waiting for his response before turning to head back to the roof. 

Toby blinked slowly and shook his head, still not sure he wasn't imagining it. He looked at the whiskey bottle and noted he really didn't drink that much. He looked at the stairs again but didn't see Happy. A soft thud of the door to the roof closing was his only sign that she had really been there. He stood up, shrugged on his jacket, and climbed the stairs, his heart beating fasting, scared about what was to come.

When he got up there, he first thing is saw was Happy. She was standing in the middle of the roof, the soft glow from the lanterns made it so he could just barely see her. She was shifting her weight from one foot to the other, looking nervous. His breath was taken away as he walked toward her, she still was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. 

"Hap, I'm sor-"

"Listen, we-"

They both started at the same time. They shared a nervous chuckle. 

Happy took a deep breath and began again, a nervous tinge to her voice, "Listen, Toby, we need to talk."

Toby swallowed hard as he felt his stomach drop, "Happy, I'm sorry. For whatever I did, I'm sorry. But we can work this out," he said reaching for her hand. 

Confusion crossed Happy's face, her brow furrowed in the way Toby loved, "What? You didn't do anything, did you?"

Now Toby was confused, "I don't know, but you've been ignoring me, which you normally only do when you're mad."

Happy gave a short laugh, "Oh that, no. I've just had a lot on my mind and like I said, we need to talk." She pulled her hand away from Toby's and turned around, taking a deep breath. "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and this," she turned and gestured to the two of them, "isn't working the way it should be."

Toby felt like his legs were going to give out on him, he slowly walked to the table, leaning on it for support, "What are you saying?"

Happy tucked her hair behind her ear, "I've been wracking my brain, trying to figure out how to do this, but I couldn't. So I figured I would just come out with it." She reached around her neck for the clasp of the necklace she wore everyday and pulled it off, fisting it in her hand. "I don't think I should wear this around my neck anymore." She tried to hand the necklace, with the customized ring on it, to Toby. 

Toby sank into the chair, shaking his head fervently, refusing to take it from Happy. 

Happy stepped towards him and took his hand, forcing it open. She place the necklace in his hand. "I don't think you're hearing me. I said I don't think I should wear-"

"No, I heard you," Toby said haggardly.

"-this around my neck anymore. My neck Toby," Happy emphasized, a small smile gracing her lips. 

Toby's eyes grew wide, "What?"

Happy let out a nervous chuckle, "It doesn't feel right to wear it around my neck, when all I want is for it to be on my finger. What we have right now is so great, wonderful even, but it's not enough anymore. I want more with you Toby. I want us to get married and take the next step. I love you and I want to make what's between us permanent. Today, I thought I lost you yet again and that terrified me. I never got to tell you how much you mean to me and how much I want to be with you in every way possible. I want to share your name and start a family with you, whatever that means. I want people to know that you belong to me and I belong to you. That used to scare me, but not anymore. But mostly, I just want you, forever."

Toby sat there, shocked.

"Uh, are you going to say anything? Because now would be the time to do it," Happy said nervously. 

Toby shook his head, almost as if he were trying to convince himself this were real, "I, uh, I thought you were going to break up with me."

Happy took a step back, her hand flying to her chest as if it pained her to even think of that, "What? No! God, no. I love you Toby, always. You're it for me. There will never be anyone else for me, of this I'm certain."

Toby was still in shock, "But you've, you've been ignoring me this week. I thought I did something to piss you off."

Happy laughed and stepped towards him, taking his face between her hands, "No, you did nothing. I was trying to figure out how to do this, but obviously I messed it up. You know I'm not good at stuff like this."

Toby's face broke out into a smile, "You really want to do this? Really get married?"

Happy nodded, a grin on her face and leaned down to kiss Toby gently, "I figured, last Christmas worked out for us pretty well, with doing things in reverse, so why not this Christmas too? It didn't work out when you proposed, but now we having nothing stopping us, so I'm asking you. And before you say the logic doesn't make sense, I know, but it just feels right."

Toby laughed and stood up, wrapping her in his arms. He pulled her close to him and kissed her again, this time lazily and loving, like they never had to stop.

When they pulled apart, both were out of breath and they couldn't stop staring at each other. Matching grins were on their faces. Words weren't being spoken, but they were having a private conversation. Their eyes were telling each other everything they felt, everything they didn't know how to explain. 

"God, I love you, Happy," Toby murmured before kissing her again. 

"I love you too," Happy said quietly, "So Toby, you still haven't answered me. Will you please marry me and finally put that ring on my finger where it belongs?"

Toby's grin grew even wider, "Of course I'll marry you. That's not even a question."

Happy didn't think she could get any happier, but she did the second she heard him say that. It was really happening. They were going to get married and she knew she would always have him. 

She stood there, waiting expectantly for him to make the next move, but he just stood there, holding her in his arms, placing soft kisses on her head, face, and neck. She leaned into him, hoping to get his attention. He looked up and gave her a goofy smile. 

"I didn't think I could be this happy," he said.

"Me either, but I think you're forgetting something."

Toby looked at her, a confused look on his face. Happy tilted her head to the table and raised her eyebrows. It took Toby a second, but then he realized what she was saying. He let her go and grabbed the necklace. He tried to pull off the ring, but the necklace got tangled. Happy laughed as he tried to unknot the chain. Finally he got the necklace fixed and pulled off the ring, but then he dropped it and it went sliding under the table. Toby groaned and Happy laughed harder. Toby dropped down on all fours, searching for the ring. 

"Nothing can ever be easy, can it?" Toby grumbled, standing back up. 

Happy shook her head, "Nope, but it'll make for a great story."

"That's for sure," he said taking her left hand in his own, "So you're sure about this? You really want to marry me and become Mrs. Curtis?"

Happy rolled her eyes and bit her lip, nodding excitedly, "Yes, numbnuts. I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure."

"Good," Toby said with a smile, sliding the ring on her finger. 

When it was on, he lifted her hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on her finger. Then he leaned down and kissed Happy again, a kiss filled with excitement for the future. 

Happy pulled back slightly and smirked, "I'm still thinking about the name though. Not sure if I want Quinn-Curtis or just Curtis."

Toby smiled, "Whichever, I don't care, as long as there's Curtis in there. You're mine now, there's no going back."

Happy pulled his head down, "Surprisingly, that doesn't scare me," she whispered before kissing him again. 

They stayed up on that roof, wrapped around each other, sharing deep languid kisses for a long while, not quite ready to share their news yet. Content just to be together, holding one another. When they finally made their way downstairs and shared the news, a celebration took place. As Toby looked around at the garage, this time he could share in the excitement. He knew every year after this, Christmas would always be a happy time. He pulled Happy close and kissed her temple. She looked up at him and they shared a tender smile. Yeah, Christmas really was going to be the most wonderful time of year.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It had almost been six months since Toby and Happy got engaged. And they hadn't planned a single thing. Whenever anyone asked them about it (Paige), they just smiled and shrugged, saying they were working on it. It wasn't like they didn't try to plan, but every time they made plans to sit down and talk about it, another lifesaving job required their attention.

They weren't just sitting and doing nothing though, things had changed. Happy had moved in with Toby a week after they got engaged. Both of them didn't want to spend anymore time apart. Once Happy had settled in, Toby convinced her to get a dog. A trial run for the future when they had kids, he said. When he said that, a terror ran through Happy. She knew Toby would want to start a family, but she thought she would have time to get used to it. So she brought up her concerns to Toby, which he laughed about, reassuring her that kids were far in the future. But he did really want a dog, so Happy gave in and they rescued a two year old mutt. Happy denied it, but everyone could tell that she loved that dog, sometimes even more than Toby. 

That day, the team had had an extremely difficult case. The wife of a wealthy businessman had been kidnapped and sold to a sex trafficker. Scorpion had to find the wife and shut down the trafficking operation in only a matter of hours. It had bothered the whole team, but especially Happy. When the lady's husband though he would never see her again he broke down. The pain on his face hurt Happy; she had to walk away, give herself a bit of space. Toby sought her out and he didn't even have to ask, he knew what she was feeling. He didn't say anything, instead choosing to hug her close, silently telling her everything was going to be ok. 

When they got back to the garage, Happy motioned for Toby to follow her upstairs. When they were alone on the roof, Happy pulled Toby's head down to hers, kissing him forcefully. Toby responded, kissing her back with just as much passion. When they were out of breath, they separated, but kept their foreheads pressed together. 

"Let's get married," Happy breathed. 

Toby smiled, "We are already planning on it."

Happy shook her head, a serious look on her face, "No, I mean now. Let's get married now. We could go down to the courthouse and be married in a half hour. Or if you want, we could go to Vegas. I don't care, I just don't want to wait any longer."

Toby kissed her gently, "I don't want to wait either, but I want this to be special. I want it to be a day we both look back on fondly, a day we can remember forever."

"But Toby-" Happy whined.

"Why the sudden urgency?" Toby asked.

Happy wrapped her arms around his waist, letting him hold her again, "Today got me thinking. The fear that man felt is what I feel anytime you're in danger. It scares me so much. I'm not saying marrying you will make it go away, but at least I'll get to be your wife, for however long I can be. If anything were to happen to you, I'll always regret not being able to marry you. I can't wait anymore, Toby. I want to marry you. I want to be your wife. We've wasted enough time, I think it's time we finally get married."

Toby smiled softly and kissed the top of her head, "I get it. I'm always terrified that I won't get to marry you, that something will happen and I'll never get to say I'm your husband. So let's do it. But give me a week, that's all I'm asking. I want it to be perfect. I mean we don't even have rings."

Happy kissed his jaw and pulled back, "Actually, we do."

Toby quirked an eyebrow at her. 

Happy dug into her jeans pocket and pulled out two rings, "They were my parents. My dad gave them to me last week. He thought we might like to use them."

Toby grinned at her, "That's perfect, Happy. Your parents loved each other more than anything, just like I love you. I would be honored to use them."

Toby took the rings from Happy to get a better look. His ring was just a plain, white gold band, while her's was matching. The only difference was the small diamond chips all around the band in the ring Happy was to wear. Toby leaned down to kiss Happy again.

"So one week?" Happy asked excitedly.

Toby nodded, "One week."

A week later, everything was set. Happy was about to go out on that roof and marry Toby. The week had been chaotic, but they had done it. They had planned the perfect wedding for them. It was nothing fancy, but it was them. Paige helped Happy find the perfect dress - a simple lace dress ending at her knees, not too tight, but not too poofy. Happy had refused to wear heels, but she let Paige talk her into simple white flats. Neither Toby, nor her were big on flowers, but they had decorated the roof with candles, a few vases of flowers, and fairy lights. Originally Happy thought it was silly and would look stupid, but as she saw it all come together, she couldn't stop from tearing up - it was simple and perfect. Toby had pulled strings with connections Happy didn't know he had and managed to get a cake and food for the small wedding. And Paige had an old friend who was a photographer that owed her a favor. Everything worked out perfectly. 

As Happy made her way up the stairs, her dad at her side, she could hear soft music playing. Toby had created a playlist of music they both loved and he and Walter had wired the sound system up on the roof. It made her grin, thinking about how determined those boys were to do the wiring themselves, when she could've had it done in less than an hour. But Toby just kissed her and said that he wanted her to focus on herself before the wedding and he would handle it. It took them all afternoon, but they had finally figured it out. 

"You ready, kiddo?" Happy's dad asked, squeezing her hand.

Happy smiled and nodded, "I'm more than ready."

Happy took her bouquet from Paige and smiled when she saw what was wrapped around the stems of the flowers. It was a piece of paper with Toby's doctor scrawling on it - " _I love you and can't wait until we're married. I've been waiting for this day since the day I met you. You amaze me and I can't believe I'll get to introduce you as my wife. You're everything I ever wanted and everything I thought I never deserved. I love you, soon to be Mrs. Curtis ;-). P.S. Made you look._ "

Happy chuckled when she saw that, a warmth filling her as she thought of Toby standing out there waiting for her. The door opened and Happy stepped out. She didn't look around at the decorations or the faces of the people she considered her family. Instead, all she saw was Toby, his eyes locked on hers. He mouthed, "I love you" as Happy walked closer and when she didn't reach him quick enough, Toby stepped towards her, grabbing her hand and pulling her to him. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, unable to stop himself, as Happy looked up at him with love in her eyes. It took them awhile, but they had finally gotten here. They had more problems than any couple should ever have to face, but it brought them to where they were now. As Happy looked up at Toby, all she could think of was how she finally had everything and she always would. No matter what happened, as long as they had each other, they could get through anything. 

The wedding was a blur to Happy, as she could only focus on Toby. Before she knew it, Toby was leaning down to kiss her, a soft, gentle, promise of a kiss. Her hands went to his hair, keeping his lips pressed to hers for a second longer. 

"Finally," Toby murmured against her lips, grinning like a fool. 

Happy grinned back, ignoring the cheers around them, "Finally," she whispered back before kissing him again, knowing she could do this everyday for the rest of her life.


End file.
